“The day I decided to mix my personal number with my business line is the day I opened the door to have to answer all calls.”

Even those famous private calls, the ones that were famous for being either a bill collector or drama. Now if it’s after a certain time, I’m not answering any calls. Leave a message, I’m getting ready for bed and will deal with any business in the morning. Not this night. I was wide awake. A call came in and I couldn’t make out anything the person was trying to say because they were crying uncontrollably. “Calm down relax I can’t help you if you don’t stop crying and speak clearly.” The other woman, let’s call her “Sarah”. Sarah says, “I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I never meant for things to play out this way.” So I say, ok I forgive you but who are you, why are you sorry? “This is Sarah.”

Let me give you some background of how I know Sarah. She’s the mother to my son’s baby brother that was conceived during my marriage. I don’t think I needed to say anything more than “oh, hey Sarah, how can I help you?” Which I really couldn’t get out because she was crying so bad. She apologized repeatedly and I forgave her repeatedly. That hard place I had in my heart for a woman I didn’t even know God had softened. I felt sorry for her and genuinely wanted to help her. I felt sorry because no woman deserved to be going through that. But hey, she seen something in my marriage and curiosity killed the cat. They say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and at that moment I knew her grass was dying.

The bible tells you when lusting after a married person how you should conduct yourself. Let’s just say Sarah had to learn the hard way. See, Sarah thought she was the reason I got a divorce (she gave herself too much credit). In the beginning of my marriage, I would run into older couples and I would ask them how did your marriage last so long. I remember asking at least 3 couples this question and I kid you not, every man said ‘it was his 3rd leg.’ Lol…. men I tell you, but the women said, “God.” So that was enough to tell me, to get there, I would have a story to tell.

“What ended my marriage was holding a man down that was behind bars and once they got home they treated your loyalty with a slap in the face.”

I couldn’t deal with someone that wanted to choose the streets over family… the end! I wish that was the end, but like a sucker I caught myself letting him back in. I did exactly what I typically would recommend against doing. I went through his phone, that’s when I found out he had slept with over 10 women in less than a month and Sarah was pregnant. Let’s talk about feeling dirty on the inside and scared all at the same time. Now that’s when I decided a 40yr marriage was not worth it.

Sorry about that, back to the call that last almost two hours. I couldn’t believe I had called her mother. Was that maturity or stupidity on my end? I told her mom “Ma’am your daughter needs you”. She was like, who’s this? I told her she wouldn’t believe me if I told her. I was there for Sarah because God put it on my heart to. I was once lost in love and embarrassed to reach out to friends or family. Why? Because you start to look like the little boy who cried wolf, and nobody wants to hear you out. No one even cares anymore about you saying you’re leaving. I became mute with my situation I knew it didn’t make any sense for me to make him look like the bad guy and I wasn’t leaving.

Sarah was on the other end of the phone line really weeping. Her pain could never be my glory and I sympathized with her. God gave me strength to leave. Sarah was stuck and there was nothing I could do for her but listen. What would it look like for the ex-wife to say ‘hey girl leave him.’ Truth be told, even though things didn’t work out for us. I still want to see the day when he becomes a better man not for another woman but for himself and his kids. Then he’ll be great for a woman. Heck! Invite me to the wedding, I might not make it but I would be happy for them.

Sarah couldn’t have called me a month before that very night she called. I was in the middle of a fast with the church and I remember telling my friend leading into the fast if I would’ve seen this girl in the streets anything was liable to happen. Now please don’t mistake me for a fighter. I just felt violated because even if he brought my son around you don’t you think it was distasteful knowing we were together to do some of the things y’all did. Don’t get me wrong we already confirmed he didn’t give a damn about anything. You as a mother of 2 kids prior to the baby should’ve known mommy codes. So when I did want to fight, it was to defend my defenseless child.

“God took that feeling out of my heart and all I wanted to do was hug her.”

What was crazy was for the next few days it’s like Sarah found a best friend in me. Which was so awkwardly strange. She was calling me and venting about my ex-husband. She went on to start telling me what he had said about me and that drew the line with our relationship. See I forgave Sarah but she started to cut a wound that was already healed. There’s always 3 sides to a story, his side, my side and the truth. The truth will always prevail in a person’s actions and not what they say. While I cared for her feelings, she wasn’t mindful to mine. She contradicted herself by saying she had no clue he was married but then said she always seen my belongings in my car which he said was his. Side note: Women if he say’s they’re not together but all signs are there, anything after that is trouble you are looking for.

We’ve all been victim to temptation and her’s might not have favored my situation to well but life goes on. Life’s too short to hold onto ill will feeling towards anyone. My bad karma was due to me one day. So not saying I won’t make any mistakes but I’m careful on how I treat people and I’m sure Sarah will be also. I promote women empowering women but I had to cut ties with Sarah because I didn’t know her motive. The best thing that happened from that call was I got to tell her there wasn’t any hate on my end. One day, when things finally get better for her, we can get the kids together to meet. No rush on my end God’s timing not mine.