“What some may consider the worst time of their life turned out to be the best time of mine.”

Lucky 7 letter word DIVORCE. Now don’t everyone get sad at once. Of course in the midst of things I didn’t notice the blessing. Upset feeling like a failure thinking the stars weren’t aligned to workout for me. Love is an amazing feeling but if you have to compromise yourself let it go.

I want to take you back to 2008 right before I had my son Sincere. When I met his father we dated, life was moving fast, and boom we were pregnant. So now that I’m in this fresh relationship we’re both young and now we/me had to get ready to deal with this pregnancy.

I can tell you that it would’ve probably been easier if every other week or month I didn’t have to deal with a woman reaching out to me to say they were with a child also.

So now the man I thought I knew became a mystery. Truths turned into lies; light turned into darkness, and I’m pregnant. How could a person go from having 1 kid to a total of 6? Yeah Sincere was #6 don’t get me wrong kids are a blessing, but it’s not too many people saying ‘hey pick me pick me, I want the man that like to slang his..’ hey, never mind, that’s another story. I’m not here to make anyone look a certain type of way.

Remember I turned around and married the guy 5 years later so that should say something about myself also. Now fast forward the moment I broke out of being my own captive prisoner. Sound the trumpets, the best feeling in the world. I was so numb I didn’t notice I wrapped myself into work that I actually started to suffocate.

My me time became workouts and clients. Not wanting to address the situation at hand. I was really divorced… It wasn’t as bad as it sound. When do you say enough is enough and love just isn’t enough. I was always an extrovert and I became an introvert so embarrassed about how miserable I was. Having to put up a facade as if everything was peaches and cream but in reality, it was a piece of shit situation. Excuse my french but I’m not here to sugar coat anything

“I’m free”!!!

Relationships are going to go through things. The one’s that go through the toughest things and make it out together are considered the toughest. I don’t think so… This girl here didn’t want to sit high while feeling low anymore. Young, married, business doing ok, but dying on the inside.

No, thank you let’s be honest, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. While losing myself I couldn’t gain any weight, I hated taking pictures, I didn’t feel pretty, or worth anything. Trapped feeling like I would be a horrible person to let go. A surreal out of body experience. You can be strong physically but if you’re mentally weak forget it.

I read an article that spoke about time. It said when you’re going through something you can get stuck in that moment. Life is passing you by but you’re captured in that situation. Before you know it, a few years have passed by, you wonder where did the time go. When actually you missed out, wondering why you, what you could’ve done different, and stuck in a trance.

The best thing that happened to me was that article. I took that negative energy to spark a fire. I continued to brand myself, I used something I loved, fitness to help others love themselves. A way I had lost but eventually started getting back. Not physically but mentally. Imagine that instead of crawling into a corner like I was once used to I decided to work harder.

See, when you stop looking at yourself as a victim and own that you’re human. Know what happened wasn’t your fault. Until a man finds himself he’ll hurt every woman he comes in contact with. As for me, I broke free, free to be happy, free to be me, and free to conquer the world. What does that have to say for Markeisa’s love life and the future… Only time will tell…