Letter to my unborn child July 10th 2008
“I’m scared life is not how I want it to be. This world is a cruel one. I’m far from perfect but I promise to do whatever I have to do to protect and provide for you. Do you like the classical music I play for you? They say it’s supposed to help make you smart, so I tried it. I’m supposed to meet you September 19th but I really want you out now. I wonder how you’re going to smell, look, and if you’ll have hair? If you don’t I’m fine with that, you’re a boy so it’s not really needed anyways. These last few months have really been hard. I’m very moody and the doctor’s said it’s all because of you. I love when you kick when I say your name. I wonder if you like it. Your dad picked it out and in the bible next to Sincere is love. Well until we meet, know I love you very much.”
I was walking through Babies R Us, which was a weekly routine for me while pregnant. Well as I was shopping I kept getting this striking pain in my belly. I took a seat and called my doctor. He told me to get to the hospital now. So instantly I went from Boca to Wellington hospital to monitor my son’s heart rate. Every time I would get that striking pain it would drop and the doctor wanted to make sure he didn’t flat line.
August 28th 2008 a star was born. So you know what that means my baby is 8. The crazy part I remember getting cut like it was yesterday. Whatever meds they gave me know my tolerance level sucked. I could feel the cutting and tugging. As soon as they switched my room, I was going crazy, give me more drugs. So to anyone that’s had a C-section I know your pain but it’s all worth it.
When I wrote my unborn a letter I wanted him to know if I didn’t make it, I loved him.
Is there really a right or wrong way to parent? Is there a right or wrong way to love them? Honestly if you don’t have any kids I don’t want you to answer. Let’s be honest, as a parent, when it comes to someone that doesn’t have one of their own, how can they tell you what’s right or wrong? To me you’re only telling me what you think, with no experience….. So it’s not valid!!
Go as hard for your kids as you do your relationships with your significant other. Stop saying that’s too much money and they won’t remember. I remember a lot of things from my childhood. The money you spend doesn’t dictate your love, but if you want to get them those Burberry shoe’s…. go ahead. I didn’t care how fast Sincere would grow out of anything. When putting together his birthday festivities now I ask him what he wants to do. It’s not about what I want to do for him. I also throw in a lot of little surprises. I can’t help myself I go this hard for anyone I love.
Life has it’s up’s and down’s and kids may never understand them. The number 8 means “new beginning”. I can honestly say God spoke through this 8th birthday. Your birth was missed, and every birthday was missed due to unfortunate circumstances. This year you were blessed to share your special day with both parents. Here’s to new beginnings… Co-parenting is as easy as we make it. The only people we hurt are the kids when we don’t learn how to communicate. Things are far from perfect but it’s getting better.