“Seems like good girls finish last. I’m not playing fair anymore. Put me in the game coach.”
Thankful I didn’t let my emotions fool me. At the moment I thought doing what was done to me would’ve mended my broken heart. Now that I’m passed it and made it without cheating I’m thankful to say the least. If I would’ve added an extra body count to my list off the strength of hurting him, I would’ve hurt myself. You don’t want to go through life missing the valuable lessons in every situation. I rather have been in love than to never know what love felt like.
I had to go through different motions. I think at one point I tapped out on love. The things I accepted when I was in love that hurt me weren’t a factor anymore. Now I can’t seem to put my finger on the concept of love. Moving through a lust zone. I think my head was playing tricks on me. What I needed not to search for at that moment was love. Their wasn’t anything wrong I had to just accept I still had things I needed to make sure was all the way dead before I moved on.
“Life threw lemons at me so I made lemonade.”
Time stood still while I went through heartache, disbelief, anger, and so many more emotions. I took a one day vacation to Coconut Grove with the kids for Labor Day. I rented a room at the Mayfair and we had the best time of our lives. We walked the strip across from the hotel and ordered papa johns pizza for dinner. My son and I went to the Heat game since he made honor roll. I won’t lie those seats were in the noise bleed section but it was the thought that count. Anyone that knows me know kids bring me great happiness. Something about their innocence makes my soul smile. So I would tell my cousin let me get your kids and they would be alongside with Sincere. We went painting, caught movies every now and then, and stayed at anyone’s bowling alley.
“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destination.”
Needless to say once love came knocking on my door again I was ready. Can’t say everything is perfect or that this is the end of the road for me. What I can say is I’m happy. I had to find happiness with self before I could make another individual happy. What you don’t want to do is become a victim to your circumstance. It’s easier said than done and I’m proof it can happen. Stay true to yourself and focus. Keep yourself busy and before you know the storm will pass.